It's a very slow process - two steps forward, one step back - but I'm inching in the right direction. - Rob Reiner

May 19, 2011

I Have Received an Urgent Message from the Universe....

Last night, for some unknown reason, I was craving Chinese food.  In general I am not a fan of Chinese and I eat it maybe 1 or 2 times a year.  But I really wanted some last night.  As most of you know I have pretty much been a vegetarian since March.  I have eaten meat a few times since then if it was in something (say Turkey Noodle soup), but I have not fixed or ordered something where meat was the main ingredient.  Normally if I get Chinese I order Sweet and Sour Chicken.  Hmmm….I didn’t really want that – it’s nothing but chicken and it's fried.  They didn't have any vegetarian dishes, so I opted for Cashew Chicken.  I have literally never had this in my entire life!  But, it was smaller pieces of chicken with cashews and some veggies, so maybe it wouldn't be so bad.  I also got the Vegetable Spring roll and fried rice as my sides.

The whole time I was ordering I was thinking to myself, what is wrong with me?  This is not going to go well.  You know you are going to be sick after eating this.  This is not a healthy option.  And to make matters worse I was ordering Chinese at the grocery store….so I decided to pick up few other items.  Jim is out of town this weekend, so I thought I needed some snack foods.  I picked up a bag of whole wheat tortilla chips and some queso too. 

Anyway, I got home and ate my dinner.  I only ate about half of it and I was immediately regretting my decision.  I threw the rest of my dinner away and almost forgot about the fortune cookie (I don’t like the taste of fortune cookies and I never eat them…but I do like to read my fortune).  I opened the fortune cookie and it read “Your body is for use; not abuse”.  Seriously!!  Holy Crap!  I couldn’t believe it.  Why didn’t I read that before dinner?  This is one of the best fortunes ever and so completely true.  I had just abused my body and I knew it.  There was nothing healthy in that food, and I knew after not eating meat for months it was not going to agree with me, but I did it anyway, because I was “craving” it.  This is my new motto….thank you Mr. Universe, or Confucius or whoever….I got the message.  I felt bad the rest of the night and still felt like poo this morning.  I fought the urge to throw up during my entire 1 hour bike this morning.  No more Chinese for me.



Along with this message from the universe I also learned how to asked where the bathroom is in Chinese....maybe that will come in handy some day.


This is not the first time I have received a message from the universe.  When will I ever learn?  In January I was "craving" some chocolate so I purchased some M&Ms at my work cafeteria only to have the cash register display read that I had purchased “1 King Sized Ass”.  This is not a joke.  I’m serious.  Jim even blogged about it.  You can read the story here if you want to (it’s a short one).

So, ever received a message from the Universe?  Did you listen?

36 comments:

  1. Oh, I love this!! (Not that you felt sick, of course, but the rest of the story) I don't put any stock in horoscopes or fortune cookies, but I ALWAYS read them. :)

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  2. How crazy!!!! I've been meat free for a month now and have had horrible cravings this week but keep telling myself I can make it through this the cravings will go away. Maybe I need a fortune like yours to really give me some conviction!!!!!

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  3. holy cow I can not believe that!!WOW!

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  4. Think the real message is to not buy Chinese food at the supermarket but at a Chinese restaurant?

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  5. Ha!!!! True, True...but Hyvee actually has decent Chinese food.

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  6. The universe tells me everyday that you are a WHITE-HOT SEXY WOMAN!!!

    Oh, and the Chinese thing is kinda weird too.

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  7. I gave up candy a few months back and decided to "give in" one day and bought a bag of Starburst jelly beans. I ate 2 and threw the bag away. It was disgusting and I felt gross. Ha ha king size ass.... I think you should listen to what the universe is telling Jim. :o)

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  8. Totally LMAO at the "king size ass". Sorry you had to feel icky to get the fortune cookie reminder.

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  9. No I dont get message from the universe. BUT I TOTALLY BELIEVE IT THO. When we give into our cravings and eat it anyway. We are needing a reminder to let us know why we gave it up in the first place. Sorry you didnt feel good after you Chinese.

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  10. Too funny! ARe you not coming with Jim this weekend?? I was pumped to hopefully meet you!

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  11. Maia - no I'm not heaing to Fargo. Jim had business out closer that way so he left on Wed. Plus when he does 10 I year, I can't get to all of them.

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  12. This is so funny! I need to adopt that motto too as I tend to abuse my body far more often then I should

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  13. I usually regret Chinese too. I think I ate it too much in college. Great fortune tho!

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  14. LOL. those are two funny "signs"!

    i can't eat chinese 'cause of my soy allergy, but i could work on refraining from m&m's and such...

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  15. I haven't read your post yet - but I will. I am just replying to what your wrote on mine. Why do you think I'd like an underground marathon? Is it because it wouldn't be raining? I am curious. Funny! Just home from a race with friends. Lots of fun.

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  16. That's too funny and what a great fortune!

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  17. OH my gosh, too funny! I love that fortune!

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  18. Okay that is too funny. I will go watch the video. Are you sure they aren't mining helmets?

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  19. As you know i just posted about the psychological battle and it is usually something like this that wakes us up.

    The scale is what woke me up to avoid my snacking of epic proportions. Eat 1 apple, not 3 with 2 bananas.

    Glad you are back on the wagon.

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  20. LOL! It as though Hy-Vee knew... :) On the bright side, if you ever do Ironman China, you will be prepared with vital phrases.

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  21. Wow...I'm going to take your sign from the universe and pretend it was for me. :)

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  22. Boy you get smacked in the face from the universe. My signs have always been more subtle or maybe I am just not listening!

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  23. That's kind of a funny fortune from a Chinese food restaurant. There usually aren't a ton of healthy choices.

    I don't love Chinese food or the taste of fortune cookies, but I love getting my fortune.

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  24. I'm so glad you added that king sized ass story at the end because you've just ended my morning blog reading on a wonderfully laughing note! I really did LOL - very loudly - on that one! Too GOOD!

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  25. That is too funny! Talk about a wake-up call. And now I will think twice before I buy a bag of king size candy :)

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  26. And it has your Triathlon on it as well, its a double sign

    I think the M&M sotry is funny, though I am surprised no one has complained about it to HR, you know how too many people are way over sensitive

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  27. I usually go with my food cravings, though I usually just get a general sense of what I want: salty or sugary. I figure my body knows what it needs, so if I desire something with a salty taste, I must be low on sodium. Seriously, I run low on that mineral, even though most people have too much in their diet. Anyway, sorry you felt ill. I think you did the right thing in both buying the Chinese food and eating some of it. No guilt.

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  28. Too funny! For me there's a definite difference between a body crave and a mind crave. Lots of times my brain tells me to splurge on crap when i know darn well my body doesn't want it. Trying to work on that.

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  29. THAT is too funny. Your fortune is quite oddly ironic!!

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  30. How funny that the fortune cookie with your food is giving you subliminal messages about how gross the food is!? I'm just like you, only eat Chinese a few times a year and when I do I regret it almost immediately. No thanks on bathing my food in oil!

    Glad you didnt barf on the bike :)

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  31. hahahaha! Oh the GI gods were speaking to you and your digestive tract! :)

    Way to power through your bike ride...you almost earned a PUKIE!!!

    I can't believe you bought a king sized A$$ in January! ;) hahaha!

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  32. lol, this post is hilarious! Main thing about chinese I notice is that normally I am paying for it later on in the bathroom, haha

    Cashew chicken really isn't that bad - chicken, rice and cashews isn't too bad. Though the egg rolls and fried rice probably was not a good call, haha

    Thanks for your comment, glad you liked the salmon, they are always classic!

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  33. You have Hy-Vee too! Their chinese always makes me feel illish.

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  34. No message from the universe here but so get this post. All too often I have given into those "cravings" with much regret. Like recently giving into those sugar cravings - grrr!

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  35. That message was awesome!!
    We actually have a chinese food place here that does vegetarian options where they make "vegetarian" chicken and beef out of soy, mushrooms, and other veggies. It is awesome!

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  36. This was weird and very funny. Good lesson for you and the rest of us. I have been in "abuse" mode for awhile. Thanks for the inspiration.

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