Starting Over – Again

It’s just after the New Year and here I am again in the same place.  I feel like I’ve been here so many times before.  The broken record.  You know what I’m talking about.  You have the whole year ahead of you.  It’s time for a change.  It’s time to actually start treating food like it’s something to fuel your body, not a reward.  It’s time to run, bike, and swim faster.  It’s time to lose weight.

But what about all those gains I made last year?  Oh yeah, I did great for a few months, but then it all fell apart and now I’m back to square one……AGAIN.  As most of you know, last year was the most difficult year of my life, so I guess I kind of have “an excuse”, but if it hadn’t been for that, would I really be sitting here today at my goal weight – feeling great??  Maybe, but probably not.  I ask myself why is that?  I have the motivation, so why doesn’t it always come to fruition?  I work out – pretty much daily year round.  I try to eat relatively healthy, but yet I don’t make the gains I want – except in the weight department – that seems to be no problem at all.

 

I remember doing a workout a few months again and the instructor said “If you want to stop starting over, stop giving up”.  It’s not an original quote, but for some reason it really stuck with me.  How many times do we get frustrated because it’s just so hard to build that run base back up again?  Or it seemed so much easier to lose 10 pounds a few years ago.  Why do we keep starting over??  If we just build on what we have already achieved – just think where you could end up.

Last night I had my first indoor cycle class and it was hard.  I had only been on my bike a handful of times since August.  My friend Michelle looked over at me – and she said “every year” – “every year we say I’m not doing this to myself again.  I am going to ride my bike in the fall so that indoor cycling is not so hard”.  But did we do it?  Nope, neither of us. 

So here I am on January 7^th, with a similar list of goals for 2015 that I had in 2014.  It is time to start building again.  I know I’m never going to be perfect, but this year I want to put that quote into action.  I want to stop giving up and starting over year after year.  Yes, sometimes life happens (like for me last year) and you really don’t have much of a choice, but most of the time it’s just a lack of motivation and will power. 

I hope this post doesn’t come across too negative because it’s really not intended to be.  It’s simply reflective.  So I want to end on a positive note and think about some of the things I did manage to accomplish in spite of everything last year.  I kept running.  My swimming and biking were pretty non-existent, but through everything I kept running.  I did miss a few weeks, but I logged running miles nearly every week last year – and even ended with a 36 day run streak from Thanksgiving to New Years.  I started weight training in October and have kept that going.  I’m actually feeling stronger than I have in ages.  I put on almost 20 pounds last year.  I lost 8 pounds in Oct and Nov…but ended up putting most of that back on in December.  But as of this morning I’m down 4 pounds so technically I guess I lost weight over the holidays.  

A little collage I made of my Instagram Photos for my Run Streak

I’m really ready for a change in 2015.  Losing my parents in 2014 really put a lot of things in perspective for me.  It’s not about being the fastest runner, or best triathlete, but it’s about being the best me.  It’s about staying healthy, fit and active to avoid some of the awful things they went through because they were not healthy. 

Remember, none of us are perfect.  If you are sitting here reading this, feeling the same way.  Don’t beat yourself up.  You are human.  This is hard.  It takes hard work and dedication to achieve our goals, but WE CAN DO IT!!!

Happy 2015 everyone!  What are you doing differently this year?  Did you make great strides in 2014 or are you like me and starting over?