It's a very slow process - two steps forward, one step back - but I'm inching in the right direction. - Rob Reiner

January 07, 2015

Starting Over – Again

It’s just after the New Year and here I am again in the same place.  I feel like I’ve been here so many times before.  The broken record.  You know what I’m talking about.  You have the whole year ahead of you.  It’s time for a change.  It’s time to actually start treating food like it’s something to fuel your body, not a reward.  It’s time to run, bike, and swim faster.  It’s time to lose weight.

But what about all those gains I made last year?  Oh yeah, I did great for a few months, but then it all fell apart and now I’m back to square one……AGAIN.  As most of you know, last year was the most difficult year of my life, so I guess I kind of have “an excuse”, but if it hadn’t been for that, would I really be sitting here today at my goal weight – feeling great??  Maybe, but probably not.  I ask myself why is that?  I have the motivation, so why doesn’t it always come to fruition?  I work out – pretty much daily year round.  I try to eat relatively healthy, but yet I don’t make the gains I want – except in the weight department – that seems to be no problem at all.
I remember doing a workout a few months again and the instructor said “If you want to stop starting over, stop giving up”.  It’s not an original quote, but for some reason it really stuck with me.  How many times do we get frustrated because it’s just so hard to build that run base back up again?  Or it seemed so much easier to lose 10 pounds a few years ago.  Why do we keep starting over??  If we just build on what we have already achieved – just think where you could end up.

Last night I had my first indoor cycle class and it was hard.  I had only been on my bike a handful of times since August.  My friend Michelle looked over at me – and she said “every year” – “every year we say I’m not doing this to myself again.  I am going to ride my bike in the fall so that indoor cycling is not so hard”.  But did we do it?  Nope, neither of us. 
So here I am on January 7th, with a similar list of goals for 2015 that I had in 2014.  It is time to start building again.  I know I’m never going to be perfect, but this year I want to put that quote into action.  I want to stop giving up and starting over year after year.  Yes, sometimes life happens (like for me last year) and you really don’t have much of a choice, but most of the time it’s just a lack of motivation and will power. 

I hope this post doesn’t come across too negative because it’s really not intended to be.  It’s simply reflective.  So I want to end on a positive note and think about some of the things I did manage to accomplish in spite of everything last year.  I kept running.  My swimming and biking were pretty non-existent, but through everything I kept running.  I did miss a few weeks, but I logged running miles nearly every week last year – and even ended with a 36 day run streak from Thanksgiving to New Years.  I started weight training in October and have kept that going.  I’m actually feeling stronger than I have in ages.  I put on almost 20 pounds last year.  I lost 8 pounds in Oct and Nov…but ended up putting most of that back on in December.  But as of this morning I’m down 4 pounds so technically I guess I lost weight over the holidays.  
A little collage I made of my Instagram Photos for my Run Streak

I’m really ready for a change in 2015.  Losing my parents in 2014 really put a lot of things in perspective for me.  It’s not about being the fastest runner, or best triathlete, but it’s about being the best me.  It’s about staying healthy, fit and active to avoid some of the awful things they went through because they were not healthy. 

Remember, none of us are perfect.  If you are sitting here reading this, feeling the same way.  Don’t beat yourself up.  You are human.  This is hard.  It takes hard work and dedication to achieve our goals, but WE CAN DO IT!!!
Happy 2015 everyone!  What are you doing differently this year?  Did you make great strides in 2014 or are you like me and starting over?


  1. You know, it might also be that your spin class in just really, really hard! :) I have a client who recently lost her second parent and she and I have talked a lot about how grief affects the body. She is feeling the same way, like she's starting from scratch again. Grief is physical, and it knocks you back a lot farther than you think you would be after just taking a few weeks off.
    Don't think too much about where you were - you were a different person then. And the person you are now sounds fired up to make 2015 a great year. Yay for you!!

  2. I think you did amazingly well considering the year that you had in 2014. Sure, you need to stick with your resolutions, but you're only human and you have to deal with what life hands you. But in the long term, it's definitely about just staying with things. It's not about doing one big push for anything, but about doing small things each and every day.

  3. I always think of a dear friend trying to quit smoking, I tell her to never quit quitting one of these times it will stick. For the continually starting over I wish there was a catchy phrase like that. Maybe Give Up Giving Up? I dunno.

    Your post was not whiney it was very reflective and honest. I cannot even imagine what you are going through emotionally and physically. Being able to pick up the pieces and start again is a sign of strength. No matter how many times the pieces fall apart, you reassemble them and move forward!!

    Best wishes for 2015!

  4. You are going to do a great job at improving on yourself! We have all been there..I'm sure that you will attack your goals this year! Sometimes we have to learn the same lessons over and over again until it sinks in. I know that is how it is with me. :) Good luck and have a wonderful 2015!

  5. Doug and I love you so much, no matter what ... I'm so proud of you!

  6. You had a rough year but finishing it with a 36 day run streak was a really strong finish in the exercise department. Keep up the great momentum!

  7. This is so me! I am heavy. My clothes don't fit but I did so great in the first half of 2014. Ugh. I'm excited about my half training but after I did my speed work the other day my knee hurt to the point that yesterday I was limping. I didn't run. I have a pace run on the plan for today but I know I can't do it although I keep thinking I can. But my knee still hurts so I am waiting until the weekend and getting my runs in there. I hope. I hate injuries even what I hope is a minor one.
    I have already outlived both my parents as they died young. At the time I didn't realize how young 53 and 55 was but now it's in perspective. It does change your life that's for sure. Mine died two years apart which was very hard but yours were so much closer. I don't know why I'm writing this. It still bothers me so much so many years later. They were wonderful people. My biggest sorrow is they never knew my kids.
    I loved loved following your run streak. Man, I'm all over the place in this comment.

  8. In some ways 2014 was a really good year for me, and I have no excuses, but I still managed to put back most of the weight I'd lost last winter. Like you, I've stuck with strength training, which is progress from my past, but unlike you I have FAR bigger no-run streaks than run streaks in the past year.

    I don't know what I'm doing differently this year. I know I SHOULD be more organized about meal planning and such so that I'm not eating crap at breakfast or cooking dinner at 8:00. I can't say that'll change, though.

  9. You may have let things slide a little last year (and honestly, all of us would have in your position) but you continue to get back in the saddle figuratively and literally. That shows that your commitment to health isn't just a resolution - it's a habit.