I know some of you follow me on Facebook so you already know this, but if you don't, well then I lost my Dad on Sept 15, just 18 days after losing my Mom. As you can imagine, my world has been turned upside down. I just feel lost. I am trying to use running as an outlet, but sometimes it just feel overwhelming. I've cried a few times, a few deep down sobs...it doesn't make it easy to run.
I miss my parents. I miss them so much. But I do find a peace knowing that they are together again. My Dad was absolutely lost and heart broken without my Mom. They had something so many people want - true love. Their marriage was far from perfect. There are things, I'm sure if they were still here, that they would tell you they regretted. They made bad decisions, etc, etc stuff that we all do. But they loved each other more than most people could imagine. They were truly inseparable. When my Dad started a car lot, my Mom went to work with him as the bookkeeper. When my Dad got another job as a salesman at a car dealership, my Mom went to work in the office there. When my Dad decided to be an over the road truck driver, my Mom hopped in the passenger side and went with him. They had so many adventures together. They couldn't be apart...truly couldn't. So when my Mom got sick, my Dad in turn got sick. And when my Mom passed, my Dad wasn't far behind. I'm sure the death certificate for my Dad will say he died of septic shock, but I think my family knows he died of a broken heart. True love. It's a beautiful thing. They had been together almost 50 years. They met and were married in high school. We found love letters back and forth between them from high school that were so special. My Mom even saved (in a locked box) their very first grocery list. How sweet is that?
I get my sense of humor from my Dad. I love that. He was quick witted and sarcastic. I also, unfortunately get my fiery and sometimes stubborn side from him too. What I didn't inherit, which I have always been sad about is his musical side. My Dad could pick up any stringed instrument and play. He loved to play the guitar and the mandolin. He played in a few blue grass bands over my childhood years. He didn't have a great voice, but a good one. He loved to play and sing. He lost his voice after he had the feeding tube in the ICU and never quite regained it. He really hated that because he wasn't really able to sing these last few months. I'd love to hear him sing again. Some of my favorite memories are when I was very young - about 5 and we used to sing together. I would always pass my cowboy hat around afterward and expect money. LOL. But it is a great memory.
I just can't believe how much has gone on in my life these last 6 months, but especially these last few weeks. It has been difficult to say the least.
Please, if you pray, continue to keep my family in your prayers. It's a very hard thing losing your parents so close together - and so young. My Mom was just a few days shy of her 66th Birthday and my Dad had just turned 67 in July. I just turned 40 in April...and it just seems to young to be without parents. My family is still facing a few challenges and we are all just dealing with a lot. I appreciate all the support I have received over these last few months. It has meant so much to me.
I will be running my first race since all of this happened on Sunday. I don't expect the race to go well AT ALL. I haven't ran more than 4 miles in at least 6 weeks. It will be slow and a lot of walking, but that's ok. I'm meeting up with one of my best friends in the whole world - Coy....many of you know Coy. We met virtually through blogging, but we have done a race together every year for the past 4 years. We are returning to Mo' Cowbell which was the very first race we did together and the first time we ever met. We've been amazing friends since. It will be good for my soul to just walk/run with her and enjoy the day. Spend some time talking and laughing. I need that so much. She has been so awesome! She even drove 5 hours round trip to come to my Dad's funeral. I don't have many friends who would have done that.
So the next post you will see will be a race recap. I plan on dedicating this next race to my Mom & Dad. My Mom was absolutely my biggest blog fan. I know my Mom & Dad will be watching me race. Smiling and cheering me on.
|Dad & Mom - back in the day|
|Dad on is Harley|
|Picture taken last year - Our Last Christmas together|