So last night, my subconscious told me what my conscious has been telling me for some time now......I'm "fat".
Last February, I was 17 pounds lighter than I am today. That's alot of added weight. Last February I was motivated, and I was within 5 pounds of where I would ultimately like to be. Today I am more than 20 pounds from that goal.
I know I have been gaining weight...obviously. I get on the scale and it tells me. I try on my clothes and they tell me. But I look in the mirror and it does not tell me. I see the same person, I don't look "that" different. But pictures tell a different story.
This past week Jim and I were on a racecation (review coming soon). In many of the pictures I just look at myself and think, man do I really look like that? I have gained alot of weight. I am not happy with how I look, but more importantly I know that the added weight is because I am not eating the right things - which is unhealthy.
I know by conventional standards I'm not "fat". I'm at the high end of my ideal body weight range, but for an endurance athlete I am heavy. I am already slow, and adding weight to the scenario is not going to make me faster.
Last summer while training for my Half Ironman I realized I could pretty much eat anything I wanted. I was training 2 to 3 hours per day and I needed calories. And that developed into unhealthy habits that are still with me. I have and always have had an addiction to sweets. Training for my Half allowed me to indulge that addiction, and it just hasn't left.
Last night I had a dream. I saw a friend I hadn't seen in a long time. She looked at me and the first words out of her mouth were "Oh, You've Gotten So Big!". I just replied "I know" and ran off feeling sorry for myself and wondering how someone could be so mean. But, I knew she was right.
Yes, it was just a dream, but between pictures and the dream, it's a wake up call. It's time to get my healthy eating back on track and drop a few pounds.
It's hard to share these things some times, but I know many of you have been there before too.
So sorry Starbucks, but we have to break up. It's been nice knowing you.
On a brighter note.....don't forget to enter my StrideBox Giveaway. It ends this Sunday!